I dream of Dan Savage

I had a dream where I was rebuked by a woman on the bus for piping a Savage Love podcast about anal sex over the speakers of the bus. She told me it was "blasphemous" to speak of such activities and that I shouldn't listen to such filth. I told her she shouldn't be so uptight, and maybe if she listened to Savage Love and got a good boning herself, she would relax. She told me I was going to burn in hell, I told her I looked forward to it, and then she got off the bus.

So, what's up with that? Today, I was on the bus listening to my Savage Love podcast, and there's always a suspicion that they can hear what I'm listening to; they're learning about polyamory and butt plugs and anal sex just like I am. Most people might freak out if they heard the things discussed. Perhaps that's too strong of a generalization; maybe there's a higher number of kinky people out there than I give them credit for.

But there's, unfortunately, the problem of abstinence-only education, and the general lack of proper sexual education overall. People don't really have any clue what their genitals really do, or what's going on inside them. For example, there was a caller on the podcast who referenced a college girlfriend who would not perform oral sex on him because she honestly believed oral sex would get her pregnant. I had to shake my head, but Dan said it best: "People really are that stupid."

So how do you figure out what is really going on? Well, Savage Love, number one, and number two, you discover by doing. Ah but here's the problem (at least for all those sex-starved puritans out there): you go to hell for having pre-marital sex! And you're a slut if you have more than one partner. Or if you enjoy sex. Or if you masturbate. Or or or or or. The list is a mile long.

It's unfortunate. Whatever happened to embracing one's sexuality? Did it ever happen? One could argue the sexual revolution during the 60's and 70's ushered in a more free-thinking approach, but where are we now?

Not that my dream necessarily has some sort of mind-expanding insight into sexuality today. There are crazy prudish zealots that still run rampant today, trying to clamp down on sexual activity any way they can: restricting access to birth control, abortions, gay marriage, etc. But Savage Love is important and refreshing; it's kind of a revelation to learn about gay crushes on a high school swim team as I'm hurtling through the city on the bus surrounded by people who are totally oblivious to what I'm learning about. Yet there is also solace in the fact that, on thousands of other city buses, trains, and cars across the world, there are other people listening and learning the same thing, opening up their minds and their sexual possibilities. Now that is something to broadcast on the bus speakers.